Surgery

A week ago today I checked myself into the hospital for a "minor" procedure to have out my appendix, as well as anything else that was awry with my innards.

I guess a lot was awry.

This particular procedure I was told normally takes about an hour. Maybe an hour and a half in extreme cases. I was under the knife for three. Yikes!

I have been lucky and healthy in my life. I have never before been a patient at a hospital (except one brush with a black widow when I was 13). I have never had major surgery. I have never broken a bone or had general anesthesia. I count this as a pretty major blessing.

I have learned a few things over the last 7 days.

There are some pretty wicked amazing drugs out there. When the doctor tells you he is going to give you something to relax...he's not kidding. When he tells you he is going to give you something that will put you to sleep...he's not kidding about that either. Drugs can do amazing, miraculous things in this day and age. I am in awe at my brother's skill in being able to administer these types of heavy-duty concoctions  to those who (like me) need to be oblivious to the world for a while. He and all the others in the medical profession really do take lives in their hands every day. And so often it goes just as expected. Amazing.

There really is no such thing as minor surgery. Especially when it comes to general anesthesia. I probably shouldn't be ashamed to admit it (but I am)...I was nervous! Very. Like break-down-at-odd-moments-crying kind of nervous.

Things happen at their own speed. I wanted to be back up and at life in 3 days. I took 4 off of work and I thought that might have been a little excessive. Oh man oh man was I in for a shock. The first two days are a haze of pain and sleep and yes - maybe a few more tears. But slowly...agonizingly slow at times...this amazing body of mine has been healing. It really is a miracle what it can endure and how it can recover.

I have been overwhelmed by the number of people who care about me. Friends, neighbors, loved-ones, siblings, family, co-workers...all of them have reached out to let me know they were thinking of me and wishing me well. I was touched by every text, post, or e-mail. I can't promise that all of my responses were coherent...

Moms really are the best. I am a grown woman all independent and living a wonderful life. But my mom was there by my side for every step of the way. She waited in hospital rooms and uncomfortable chairs, drove me home in the middle of the night, slept in my room, set her clock so I wouldn't miss my next dose of medication, and didn't leave my side for 2 1/2 days. I didn't ask her to stay. She just did. And a week later she is still coaching and coming and just being a mom. It brings tears to my eyes to think of the love she has for me and the kinds of sacrifices she makes for her family.

Final verdict? Love is all around me. I am blessed!

The First Week

I think deciding to choose a focus for life is a lot like praying for patience or humility. The minute you make up your mind to improve some part of your character or personality, the entire world seems to revolve around proving that your desire to change is futile.

You want to be more patient, and everyone on the road drives slower. The lines at the grocery store stop moving.

So it is no surprise that when I decide to spend some effort focusing on the concept of love, most of what I wanted to do for the last week was hole up in my room and read books.

But I have not given up on myself. This talk moved me the first time I heard it. Here are some of my favorite thoughts.

Now, for us, the measure of our love is the measure of the greatness of our souls. 


It makes the spirit soar to think that the Creator of heaven and earth could know us and love us with a pure, eternal love.


Sometimes the greatest love is not found in the dramatic scenes that poets and writers immortalize. Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life.

True love lasts forever. It is eternally patient and forgiving. It believes, hopes, and endures all things. That is the love our Heavenly Father bears for us. 

We all yearn to experience love like this. Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings—even if we don’t deserve it.

Without charity—or the pure love of Christ—whatever else we accomplish matters little. With it, all else becomes vibrant and alive.

Christmas Times

I am a lucky girl. I got to go spend Christmas eve with my sister and her family. The highlight was for certain the excitement of the two little ones while opening their presents from Santa on Christmas morning.

This little guy is learning his letters. So he took each present and traced the letters to see if they were in his name or his sisters. Too cute.

A new tractor!

Every now and then I like a blurry photo. It shows a sense of movement and goes a long way to capture the mood of a moment. Very rarely does it have anything to do with a flighty photographer forgetting to set the flash...

They got lost in the excitement, but the new LeapPad tablets that Santa left in their stocking quickly became the focus of play. Amazing how by two or three, these little guys can work their way around computer equipment with almost no help.

See the look on this little guy's face? Pure mischief. He was having a delightful time. And the race track his mom put together was completely disassembled within 5 minutes.

Pretty girl! She got a vanity with makeup, curling irons, and jewelry.

Applying some lip gloss. The scented body spray that came with this was half gone before the end of the day. The good news is it will only last one more day at that rate.

During coloring time, we got to the page with the alphabet. He went over the letters with no less than six different colors.

Christmas is an exhausting day! But it was phenomenal. Wonderful. Memorable.

But the fun didn't stop with just Christmas day. A few days later, Mom and Dad came home from California. So we did Christmas again at Grandma and Grandpa's!!

One of the activities planned for the evening was decorating a gingerbread house. And when you are a little munchkin and get a taste of the yummy frosting grandma makes, it is hard not to lick your fingers after placing each candy on the house.

Really hard.

Really, really hard...

But don't worry, his sister wasn't the only one! The little guy liked licking his fingers clean too.

The holidays don't always go exactly the way we imagine they will. But if you have children, family, and time together, then the rest of the details seem to be unimportant.

One Word

I hold firm in my resolve to avoid making New Years Resolutions. I am not anti-goals. Quite the opposite, in fact. I just don't think for me this post-holiday period of time would really be improved by writing a list that looks something like this:

1. Get in shape.
2. Get out of debt.
3. Be kinder.
4. Eat less sugar.
5. Drink less soda.
6. Find a husband.
7. Increase my faith.

In defense of the list, I have known people who have made - and successfully achieved - goals relating to every item on this list. They are some of my heros and I constantly look to them as examples. Every one of these is an area of my life that could use some work. But I am already working on those. They are already written elsewhere and don't need a shiny new coat of "resolution." I even have plans written out on how to achieve a couple of those. See? I am not anti-goal.

I was recently talking to a friend who used a single word last year to define her focus. She chose the word "today." She said that as she looked at all of the many things she wanted to achieve, and realized that most of her goals revolved around trying to take one day at a time. In the midst of chaos, it helped her find some peace. When undergoing adversity, that word helped her remember that struggles only come one day at a time. And when the sweet and tender moments with her family came, she was there to savor that as well.

She challenged me this year to try the same thing. She said that if I looked at all of the things that I wanted to work on, I would most likely come up with a single theme to all of them. And I have been struggling! All of the possibilities that ran through my head didn't really seem to fit the bill. Or they weren't one word:

• Lazy Is Bad
• Don't Suck
• Do What You're Supposed To
• Dream The Impossible Dream

Ok...all but the last one were actually phrases that ran through my head. That one came from some odd Musical portion of my brain. Not terribly inspiring.

Then tonight it hit me. I think I found one word that I would like to use. It is one that I find more than a little intimidating. But also inspiring.

Love.

Too often, I think people define love in a very narrow, romantic way. Or it revolves around a very traditional nuclear family consisting of a husband and wife and children. I think sometimes I view love this way. At this stage in their life, the majority of women my age are married and have children. And what intrigues me about spending a year focusing on love is I believe there is so much in my life that is touched and motivated by love. I don't want to spend any time focusing on what my life lacks, but rather how it is abundant. 

So this is my goal. To spend the year focusing on love. How I have it. How I show it. How it is shown to me. 

My first challenge is to go an entire day without using sarcasm. To be sincere.

I just told this to my roommate, and she said "Oh my! That might have to be a day when you lose your voice! Or you don't see anyone else."

Such faith in me. Oh well. I will happily report on my attempt.

Random Photos

Christmas lights are one of my favorite parts of the holidays. So when I was taking them down, I had to snap a few shots.

Then because I have fun photo apps on my phone, I had to modify the photos to be cool.

I am kind of addicted to colored lights.

This is not Christmas lights. It is the ceiling fan in my living room. But when I was taking a break from packing up Christmas lights, I collapsed in the middle of the floor with a great deal of drama. It made the break feel more authentic. And I thought the pattern of the light on the ceiling was pretty. So it made the post.

What's Not Posted (And What Is...)

I took pictures. They are on my iPhone that I haven't synced.

I have thoughts. Haven't quite typed them up.

It's coming.

I also think it is genetically impossible for me not to make New Year's resolutions.

Today the Christmas tree and the lights outside came down.

On the plus side, my router has now been working for almost 15 minutes! Happy day.